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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| Favorite novel's main character.
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| I lied. Here is an exact rip. But don't you love it when
these kind of crap happen? Whatever, mumble jumble that probably
don't mean shit.
Hopefully I can keep my word, last post.
Gary... unfortunally, this isn't the "place"
I may be obvious, but I am not. I realized I made a mistake while creating this, so this was a dummy that I set up.
Makes sense? makes no sense? whatever. But I am assure all of you
that there isn't going to be an update on this, so I suggest you take
this off from "sites I read"
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| I always like a fresh start. Second quarter is going to start in
Jan, and I would like to put whatever went on in my head behind me for
a while. It can be that I want to escape reality. It can be
that I want a fresh start. Or it can mean that I am weird.
Whatever.
I will probably still be using xanga. Under the name of a
character in my favorite novel. But hehe, knowing myself... I
know you guys will be reading whatever I have in no time.
Before when I write, it is because to let out whatever bothered me on
my mind. Concealing those thoughts corrupts myself. But I
don't know, it seems that when I write these days, it is
different. It is about something that happened to me, and how I
see it. Again, I probably didn't explain it that well, but one
thing is that I like whatever I am writing now than before.
I know again, when I feel bit more unstable, I will start rambling again. But hey... whatever.
That last entry I had. I don't know, but I really felt I
really... I don't know... that FEELING that you can't explain.
^________^ hehe.
Hope I can still "entertain"/"share" you with my thoughts soon.
My dearest Butterfly, are you? did you?
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| I am thinking, why am I thinking about certain stuffs? Is it
because I want it to be "my way?" Is it because I think it is
wrong? Is it because I just don't like it for no reason? After
some so called reasoning, I realized I like thinking... Amazing?
I think so too. But I must say, I like to think only up to a
degree. Sometime I thnk I think too much that I shouldn't even be
thinking about.
Why is it fun, I can't really explain in word right now. Here are
some possibilties (because it seems like I won't be back explaining
it). One, I like to see those small things that make life
"interesting". Two, maybe I the feeling to solve a problem that I
was thinking. Three, it keeps me occupied (I must say, sometimes
TOO occupied.) Four, I like to share my thought through my eyes. (That
is probably the best explaination) Five, like I said earlier, I like to
think because of no reasons.
But thinking goes to something like "reflecting". Reflecting is
important. Often when something is wrong, you reflect to see why
is it wrong, how you can improve next time, and etc. Even when things
are right, you reflect, to see how it could had done better.
But recently, I have done some thinking, about something that I
shouldn't even be worried about but that something can bother
people. *pat myself at my shoulder, two times* Maybe
it is my nature, maybe it is the "boyscout-ness" in me kicking
in; I have been thinking about it. About what can I do, despite I
know there is nothing I can do. Yep, nothing, I can only do
something when they asks me? Haha. But yep that is what I will
do.
How that thinking like all thinkings, links to another thing, my
friendship. That is something bothering me. I take my
friendship seriously. That is mainly the reason why I call people
in high school that I see "phonies" and "wearing masks" I would
hate it to a degree if my friends are wearing masks right now.
Because I have been trying to be true to them when I talk to
them. But I also understand we only known each other for at most
2 month and we are all not used to the new environment yet. So..
yes, my view of my friends has changed, not sure for the better or for
the worse. But you can count on one thing " When you need me, I
will be there for you. I will always be there for you if I can,
because I care and love all of you" Because you are all my
friends, and everyone of us make mistakes and I know you. (Yes
even you short fag, if I say, you are one of my dearest friend that I
learned a lot from)
Now as being myself, my other feeling kicks in. I am worried that
this will offense some people. But so be it.
some headings missing o.O I wonder what does that mean.
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